Accappella

I might be old fashioned at the ripe age of 23 but I miss accappella singing more than I miss pogs and snap bracelets. All the churches these days have switched to full bands. I appreciate it and I have bought every chris tomlin cd to learn the songs. I even went to his church here in austin for a few months to catch up. The thing is, with the bands people have not learned how to sing. So when the band stops and wants the congregation to sing themselves it gets silent and the ones brave enough have absolutely no business singing out loud. Sure, get on to me about it's all beautiful to God blah blah blah. I was raised in a Church of Christ youth group and then spoiled at a Church of Christ University. I got to sing accapella all I wanted for 23 years. Now all of a sudden I have to stop and forget every song I grew up loving? It sucks! I miss the days of belting it out in harmony with some of the most beautiful voices this side of heaven have to offer. Mel McCray would literally almost make me cry every time we sang together. "This is the air I breathe" "Break my heart" "Shout to the Lord" "Agnus Dei" "And Can it Be" "God of Wonders" and any song with a four part harmony!!! They're all gone! Nobody sings em! I'm drowing in a 1 inch deep pool of worship mediocrity!!! An old friend recently visited one of the newer, more popular churches in Austin and after the service shook his head in disappointment. He called all the newer songs, "7-11 songs". Meaning somebody found seven words that rhyme in a verse and then made us sing it eleven times in a row!!! Don't even get me started on "Guitar Praying". People think God doesn't listen to their prayers, HOW CAN HE HEAR YOU OVER THAT RIDICULOUS PAUSING AND STRUMMING ALL THE TIME!?! Prayer isn't supposed to be a dramatic presentation of the soul to a crowd, it is a lifting up of concerns, repentance, grace, thankfulness and occasionally requests! Read some psalms, now THOSE guys knew how to pray. Oh Lord, vanquish my enemies, let me not fall into their snare. Dear God, I am surrounded by the evil one on this earth, let your angels descend around me as an army and destroy the dark so that I may live in the light! Oh Lord I seek your face and your blessings, let me live among you in Heaven so that I may worship you always. Do not leave my presence Lord, let not my enemies triumph over me! Am I judging peoples souls because of how they pray? No, is God? You better believe it! Is cal perfect? YES!!! I wanna start a new church where half the congregation goes on missions during the year, then the other half the year after. We all sing accappella style. We have communion EVERY WEEK!!! Our elders know what they're doing! A praise minister and a preacher that don't leave. The baptistry isn't just a tub with water from 1974 and baptisms are a celebrated event, not an excuse to sigh because it'll take you ten minutes longer to get to olive garden. After service, it should take an hour for everybody to leave because of the fellowship that is shared. And when they do leave, it's cuz they're all meeting up for lunch. What spawned this blog? An ever growing desire to get to Heaven and experience what God wanted for us all along. The best you can imagine doesn't even come close to what he has in store for us! Okay, I'm done. Soapbox over. Frustration spent. Back to saving the world one cynical comment at a time.

Little Green Meanies

All over the restaurant where I work, we have signs for our cooks. WEAR GLOVES WHEN HANDLING FOOD. Also dozens of signs that tell them to wash their hands frequently. This actually happens very regularly and our inspection scores are in the top 10% in Austin. Something we are proud of. Anyways, during a rush the other day an hourly BBQ cashier was told to chop some Jalapenos real quick since we were running low. He remembered to put on his cutting glove (similar to shark diving suits) but forgot to put on a latex glove for the other hand. After dicing between 10-20 Jalapenos and removing all the hot seeds with his fingers he delivered them to the line and then took a break.

His first stop was the bathroom.

Take a second to let that soak in.


......

Got it? Good.

Long story short, we had to send him home.

Moral of the story: Don't handle Jalapenos and their seeds with your bare hands and then touch very delicate parts of your body.

C.P.A.T.

This past week my name ended up on a short list called, "Guaranteed people who would do anything to get into Heaven cuz their rep is so bad". My name came up because low-life parents at my old church backed out on their childrens middle school retreat. I got a phone call and I said, "Yes", without hesitating. I gotta get that golden ticket man. Anyhoo, I was quickly informed that in order to gain attendance as a counselor I would need to attend a C.P.A.T. class(video) to become certified according to new regulations. I have no idea what it stands for but I'm renaming it the Cuz Parents Aren't There certification. It doesn't matter that I was a counselor at last years camp(this year was WAY better, I think it has something to do with the counseling team ), along with many others in years previous. I went to watch the video and it turns out that it is a 45 min shock-you-mentary about ministers that violate children in youth groups. I was honestly perturbed by the video and insulted by the urgency to have me watch it. Make the jokes about this subject all you want (Joel) but I'm a goofball for laughs and not because I don't know how to handle myself with kids. I have been a part of this church for over a decade and certainly don't need some video to show me the ropes of Kumbayah and camp fires. Consider cal officially insulted (but not really). I reflected on my time with C.P.A.T. as I swirlied a young boy who refused to turn off his stupid MP3 player and go to bed. That being said, middle schoolers are smarter than you think and the girls were at about the same maturity level as me so I had some pretty meaningful conversations with the group I led. Great singing (ACCAPELLA STYLE FINALLY!!!) decent food (I didn't cook) and a really fun time realizing the church bus was busted 45 minutes before it was time to leave.

What a great weekend and it's not even over, does anybody else realize how blessed their life is? Take five minutes to sit back in your chair and praise God for all he's doing in your life right now. He's got his fingerprints all over you, just take a look and be thankful. Then read the book of Daniel and you'll see passages that haven't stuck out to you before.

Gooooood Morning Vietnaaaam!!!!!

I am quoting one of my favorite old movies with Robin Williams where he plays a disc jockey during the Vietnam war to help brighten things up a bit. Obviously he had it easy because The Vietnam War was such a bright and cheerful happy war. I am awake at 5:17 in the morning full of energy for maybe the first time in my entire life because I'm about to go to work to be trained as a Restaurant Manager. It's freakin awesome! It gets even better! After this week, I start at 5 in the morning so I'll be posting even earlier than this.

My good friend Joel Weckerly came in town this weekend to visit and I just wanted to post a few things I learned from him over the course of his stay.

1) It's never a bad time for dirty words or jokes about my mom.
2) If you are on vacation it is absolutely necessary to never help with anything whatsoever.
3) Always mooch off of somebody that can cook, this way you'll never go hungry and you never have to get off the couch.
4) Talk smack about being your own man only after being given permission by your girlfriend.
5) Do your best not to fraternize with any of your hosts' new church friends, that way you never have to be charming or remember more peoples names.

Joel, we love you buddy and your stay was quite enjoyable. Please return soon so that I can learn from you Obi-Wan and I will be your Padiwan student.
Peace out Cal

You Matter

Just a reminder that God is in every decision you've ever made. Regret bothers a lot of people. What if I had gone this route, ignored this person or said something different at that precise moment that I think about all the time. There's a reason for the decisions we make in our lives past and present. Instead of dwelling on mistakes or paths not taken look at what was gained or avoided by those decisions. Had a bad relationship? What did you learn that will help in the next? Turned down a job offer? Where are you today that you couldn't be otherwise? Said no to a certain new friendship? What influence might that person have had on you and what direction might they have taken you? Who you are today is effected by all your decisions, even the small ones. God is in your life molding and shaping you with every step you choose to take. As long as he resides in your heart he will continue to bless you spiritually on whatever path you're on. You matter to God, everything you do he watches with pride and excitement. Stay the course, make the right decisions and you will know who you are in a single moment of life.